It’s a heated debate even more emotionally charged than : Does the G-spot really exist?
Never mind all the sex moves meant to stimulate it, the strategies to find it, and the vibrators engineered to hit it in just the right way. When you get right down to it, is the G-spot really a thing…or is it just a sexual gimmick that we’ve all convinced ourselves is somewhere in there?
Because, based on a quick Google search, it looks like lots of people are REALLY sure it’s all a lie.
This might be because a major 2012 review in the Journal of Sexual Medicine concluded that “objective measures have failed to prove strong and consistent evidence for the existence of an anatomical site that could be related to the famed G-spot.” The research said they couldn’t find anything using imaging devices or tissue specimens. Womp womp.
But don’t give up on the G-spot just yet. This study misses some major important points.
First, let’s talk about where that term came from. The G-spot is something that became popular back in the 1980s.
You can trace it back to the 1982 book The G Spot: And Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality by Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John D. Perry. So to get to the bottom of all this genital confusion, BuzzFeed Life spoke with one of the book’s co-authors, Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., R.N.
Whipple explains that they were reporting on the area that was first described by Dr. Ernest Gräfenberg, a German researcher and ob-gyn who wrote about it in a paper published in 1950. He talked about a sensitive area that you could feel through the front vaginal wall, which swells when stimulated and seemed to play a role in female ejaculation (). In their book, they called this area the “G-spot,” after Gräfenberg.
And here are some things you should know:
None of the original researchers ever said the G-spot was a distinct anatomical structure. Ever.
“Back when we wrote the book, we hypothesized that this area is made up of many tissues, including the core of the clitoris and the female prostate gland [or the paraurethral gland],” says Whipple. “Calling it a spot probably threw people off.”
They knew they were looking at a complex of nerves and tissues all working together. A more recent study by researchers in Italy described the area as the clitourethrovaginal (CUV) complex, as it includes the internal bulbs of the clitoris, the urethra, and the vagina. Some people interpreted this research as “OMG THE G-SPOT IS A FAKE,” but actually, Whipple confirms that this complex is the same thing they wrote about more than 30 years ago.
No one ever said it guarantees an orgasm, either.
Wouldn’t that be nice. “The important take-home message is that many women — but not all women — feel that there is an area on the front wall of the vagina that feels erotically sensitive and with sufficient stimulation can even lead to orgasm,” Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., associate professor at Indiana University and author of The Coregasm Workout, tells BuzzFeed Life. “But you still have to kind of feel where it feels good for you.” Some people can definitely orgasm from this. Others, not so much.
Here’s WHERE it actually is and what it feels like:
Most women feel the G-spot when they put firm pressure on the front vaginal wall, which is about an inch or two up inside the vagina, behind the pubic bone, says Herbenick. The classic example is to insert your finger into your vagina in a “come here” motion, so you’re curving upward to reach this area. You can also ask your partner to insert their fingers this way or use a sex toy that’s slightly curved. If you’re with a partner, flipping over onto your stomach and having them insert their fingers (palm facing down) might actually be easier.
Important: The exact location can vary from person to person, so if it’s an inch up or to the left that feels really good, that’s cool, too.
And here’s how you or your partner might be able to find it:
Remember, you’re not looking for some distinct structure or spot, because you won’t find one. The G-spot is something that you feel deep within the front vaginal wall, so applying firm pressure to different areas of this wall would be a good place to start, says Whipple. If you find an area that feels good, you might notice that it swells a little bit once you keep stimulating it. It may also feel a little like you have to pee, since the bladder is located on the other side of this wall, says Herbenick. Most women describe G-spot stimulation as a deep or internal sensation, compared to the intense or electric sensation they get with clitoral contact. Basically, if any of this sounds familiar, you probably found your G-spot.
Certain sex positions can also help stimulate it.
Doggie style, or rear entry, is usually your best bet since this angle gives your partner a straight shot at the front vaginal wall. Doggie style while laying down on your stomach or over the side of the bed might feel especially great, because you’re essentially sandwiching this front wall of the vagina and getting pressure from both inside and outside, says Herbenick.
You on top may work, since you’ll be able to lean forward or backward slightly to tweak the angle and direct your partner’s penis/sex toy/hands wherever you want them. But missionary probably won’t do your G-spot any favors, unless you tilt your pelvis upward (using a pillow under your butt or putting your legs up on your partner’s shoulders).
All women ~technically~ have one.
And by “one” we mean a complex of tissues, nerves, and structures that have the potential to be super pleasurable. While all women with these parts have a G-spot, it might not feel good to everyone, says Whipple. So if you’ve poked and prodded all over down there and don’t feel a damn thing, that’s perfectly fine. It’s not that you’re missing some fundamental part of your vagina — it’s just that this area isn’t an erogenous zone for you. It’s like some people like getting their toes sucked and other people think that is absolutely horrendous. You do you.
Men (kinda) have one too.
It’s the prostate, says Whipple, and it’s located right under the bladder and in front of the rectum, with the urethra running through it. Because it’s made up of the same tissues as the area surrounding the urethra in women (known as the paraurethral gland, Skene’s gland, or female prostate), researchers often refer to it as the male G-spot. But, again, it doesn’t feel great for every single person. You can find it and stimulate it through the anus by pressing up on the front rectal wall.
So, yes, the G-spot is a thing that exists! But that doesn’t mean you need to find it/use it/love it.
Before you go hunting, here’s the most important thing to remember: This is just one erotic area that feels good to some people, and the exact location can vary a little. So don’t think you’re crazy if you can’t find it — or if you think you did, but it just feels meh. “You could have a clitoris and not like to have it stimulated either,” says Herbenick. “If it doesn’t feel good to you, then don’t do it.”
But if it feels like pure awesomeness, enjoy it! Don’t let anybody tell you the G-spot is a lie or a myth or all in your head. Your orgasms are valid, and who cares where they come from? “All we’re trying to do is help women to feel better about themselves,” says Whipple. “To enjoy what they enjoy, enjoy what is pleasurable to them, and to feel good about that.”