We learned the hard way so you don’t have to.
We recently asked members of BuzzFeed Community to tell us the .
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
Their responses ran the gamut from funny to sappy, from downright silly to totally practical, so it’s only fair that we share those nuggets of wisdom with you.
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
“Admit when you’re wrong, shut up when you’re right.”
-Submitted by Johnny Storm
“Date someone for a year before taking the next step, whether that be moving in together or getting engaged. People change with the seasons.”
-submitted by Tawny Elle Easterling
“There are two boxes in every relationship: hope and expectation.”
“Resentment builds when you put petty things into the expectation box (he needs to give me flowers, he needs to take me places, etc). Put petty things in the hope box and be clear about what is in your expectation box.”
-Submitted by Amber Malin
4.
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
-Submitted by Mallory Johnston
“My dad told me: Don’t be interesting. Be interested. Actually listen to her. It’s by far the best thing you can do. You’d be surprised how many men don’t know this.”
-Submitted by David Kasunick
“You are not in a movie, you are a real person – don’t expect other people to treat you like you’re always the star.”
-Submitted by Alex Lisette
“Don’t fight about money because after you’ve fought and maybe said mean things to each other, the amount of money in the bank will be the same. “
-Submitted by Shauna Durham
“Have separate checking accounts!
A couple should have a joint account for all household bills, but they should have their own accounts for personal expenses. As long as all the bills are paid and some money is going into a savings account, they should each have a little money to spend as they please.”
-Submitted by John Thomas
9.
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
-Submitted by
“My father told me to look how my significant other interacts with other people, especially waiters and servers, while in the getting to know each other stages. He said it’s the best way to see a persons true colors.”
-Submitted by Roisin Kilroy
“Don’t marry someone you don’t want your children to be.”
-Submitted by
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
“Once someone told me: ‘put your finger in your partner’s nose. If it disgusts you, it means you’re not in love.’”
-Submitted by Dinora Agathe Kruja
“Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.”
-Submitted by Becky Hobbs Haler
“Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”
-Submitted by Courtney Danielle
“The best advice I’ve ever got was from my mum: ‘everyone is at some point an asshole, it’s about finding an asshole you can put up with.’”
-Submitted by
“Choose your in-laws wisely!”
-Submitted by
“My mom once sat me down and very seriously told me: ‘The first few years of your relationship should be incredible.
Not to say that you won’t fight, but you should not be fighting all the damn time. If your partner is upsetting you this much now, imagine what it is going to be like a marriage, two kids, and several years from now. Take your time, people’s tastes change, and it is much easier to throw out a couch than a husband.’”
-Submitted by Meghan Elizabeth
18.
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
-Submitted by Kimberly Sutton
“If your boyfriend is always making you cry you have to ask yourself: is he your boyfriend or is he an onion?”
-Submitted by
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
“Remember, your spouse will still be there after your kids are gone.”
-Submitted by Catie Hurley
“If you’re upset about something that won’t matter in 5 years, you should not be upset about it.”
-Submitted by Kady Kidd
“Definitely go to bed mad. Everyone is an asshole when they’re tired and cranky. Find your perspective and your compassion tomorrow morning and then resume.”
-Submitted by Melissa De Lory
“Always kiss after an argument.
Doesn’t have to be a big kiss, just a peck. It signifies the argument is over, you’re moving on, and you still love and appreciate your partner.”
-Submitted by
“When you disagree, stick to the issue at hand. Don’t drag up old fights, old flames, or old issues.”
-Submitted by
“The best advice I ever got was from my grandmother. I asked her if she and my grandfather were still in love after all these years. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘We can argue about the little things because we agree on all of the big things.’”
-Submitted by Casey Cooke
“Always sleep in the same bed, no matter how angry.”
-Submitted by Stephanie West
“How do you know when it’s over? When you feel more in love with your memories than with the person in front of you.”
-Submitted by
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
“Thank them for everything, even for the little things they do.”
Saying ‘thank you for emptying the dishwasher’ isn’t just about the dishes- it says I notice you, I recognize that you work to make our home better, I value your efforts enough to call them out, and I do not take those same efforts for granted. No one will ever get tired of being thanked, and at the same time it fosters an atmosphere of gratitude in the home, you may find yourself being thanked more often in return.”
-Submitted by Jess Ballinger
“Remember that the way you want to be loved is not always the same way that your partner does.”
-Submitted by Amanda Hogan
30.
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
-Submitted by Elizabeth Krevy
“Talk to each other. Talk about silly things, about serious topics, about anything and everything under the sun.”
-Submitted by Arlene B. Nuestro
“My twin brother and his husband are the best. husbands. ever.
I watch them. Twin Bro is in medical school, Hubby is getting a Ph. D., so they’re super busy all the time. They have study dates at the library. They have a cleaning service come in once a month because a clean house is more relaxing than a dirty one. They talk about their feelings all the time. They ask for what they need. They changed their furniture—went from a couch and recliner to a sectional—so they’d be more likely to snuggle with each other since they know that’s important.”
-Submitted by Jennifer Nelson
“My mom told me once that the secret of marriage is not to commit to someone for the rest of your life, it’s to commit to trying 100% every day .”
-Submitted by
“From my grandma: ‘Always remember the beginning.’”
-submitted by
“Fight like you’re both siblings, tend and tidy like parents, challenge ideas like strangers, laugh like best friends, and love and forgive like long lost partners.”
-Submitted by Dea Cothran
36.
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
-Submitted by Casey Passarella
