The fantasy makes sense: “Sex is hotter when it’s a little transgressive,” says Stephen Snyder, M.D., a sex and relationship therapist in New York City. “There’s something about the surprise of taking off the wrapper for the first time.”
For most people, though, the one-night stand is a rarity.
So we asked five women to share the details of their most sizzling flings—and what it was that made those hookups so hot.
Use their tales as inspiration to fire up your sex life—starting tonight.
Kristen, 29 / The Guitar Hero
We began talking and hit it off, and it soon became clear that we’d be each other’s date for the rest of the night.
At midnight we kissed—in a joking way at first, but then things heated up. We were making out on the dance floor when he asked me to go home with him.
He carried my shoes because my feet were sore.
The sex was wonderful, but the best part was the morning after. When we emerged from Kyle’s bedroom, his roommates were already up. Kyle grabbed his guitar and started playing Tom Petty’s ‘Wild-flowers.’ I sang along.
He seemed to be signaling that he wanted me to stick around. We continued to hang out until the afternoon. Neither of us felt any rush to make it end.
Eventually he walked me to the door and kissed me goodbye.”
Do It: Take responsibility, says Jenn Gunsaullus, Ph.D., a sociologist and relationship coach based in San Diego.
“You just had the most intimate experience you can have with a person. Now offer your respect.”
You don’t have to serenade her, but make her feel like it wasn’t a mistake. Ask if she wants to have breakfast. Show thoughtfulness and creativity, says Gunsaullus—prepare a delicious omelet, or pack up bagels and coffee to take on a hangover-clearing walk in the park.
Kelly, 32 / The Soft Sell
But then this guy appeared. Gorgeous red hair, broad shoulders, muscular arms, strong hands-and really chill. ‘My day,’ he said casually, ‘was really long.’ Now that was a nice, inviting line.
We got into a conversation about my day. He asked questions; he listened.
Later he asked if I wanted to hit another bar and meet his friends. I was happy to go-it was a public place, and seeing his friends showed he was a regular, emotionally competent guy.
At the end of the night, we went home together.”
Do It: Compliments on her physical appearance can seem cheap and off-putting. Instead, aim to reveal something about your character-and learn about hers-by finding common ground, says Robert Burriss, Ph.D., a psychologist at North-umbria University.
Comment on a song that’s playing in the bar, and then ask what she listens to at home or what bands she’s seen lately.
The simpler you keep things, the better, adds Gary Lewandowski, Ph.D., chair of the psychology department at Monmouth University.
